Datura Creator: “Control’s Suck When Sober”

Datura, the latest PSN exclusive from Sony Computer Entertainment and developer Plastic, has been widely celebrated for its unique perspective, excellent visuals, and eerie soundtrack. However, critics have also largely panned its terrible controls. Today, Datura’s game director, Michal Staniszewski, spoke up in defense of the motion controlled gameplay, “the controls really went over well with all our test groups and internally.” Asked by GamesGo why he thinks the greater public opposes the controls he continued “I don’t think people get the point. I mean the game is called Datura, and is basically all one big trip. It’s also only about 90 minutes long; come on, do I have to spell this out for you?” At this point Staniszewski revealed the facts to GamesGo, “The controls suck when sober; but on datura? They’re the tits! We gave all our testers the proper amount of datura and we couldn’t get them to leave. All I’m saying is, don’t knock it ‘til you try it.” During the same interview, Staniszewski later admitted that originally the game was going to be packaged with the proper amounts of datura to be ingested while playing. However, he said that Sony nixed that idea. “Next time I’m making games for Nintendo, I know they’d be all for this shit. I mean have you ever played Mario? Look at all those crazy shrooms.”

New, Ultra-Premium Playstation Vita Announced

A few weeks after it was revealed the Playstation Vita would launch in three bundles, a wi-fi only vita for $250, a 3G version for $300, and an early-edition bundle for $350 available a week before its official launch date, Sony has made another announcement about an even newer, more premium Vita bundle.

"The Playstation Vita: Ultimate bundle is the most premium portable gaming experience available," began Sony Computer Entertainment President, Kazuo Hirai, "retailing at the low, low price of $5000, this bundle is available 8 days before the Vita’s official launch. It includes two free games, a 4B memory stick, and the Ultra-Elite Playstation Vita — which differs from the other models available with it’s 60 inch screen."

Deus Ex is all about giving the player as many options as possible. That’s why you’re only able to play the game using three strategies: fighting, stealth or hacking. Just like in real life, those are your only options.
Xbox Live Down, Lost in “The Cloud”

After recently announcing that Xbox Live would integrate cloud services, such as saving your games and all your profile information online so you can take it anywhere you go, Microsoft have announced that during a beta test of the service today that the entire Xbox Live service has gone down.

"To say that Xbox Live is offline isn’t exactly correct," started Xbox Live Corporate Vice President Marc Whitten, "to be more accurate would be to say we lost it… in the cloud… we’re not sure exactly where it is"

Microsoft has dispatched a team of it’s most highly trained game testers to find Xbox Live and make it, well, live. “Our game tester team has been great in the past finding videogame errors. Look at Blinx the Time Sweeper or Kinect Sports, those games were pretty much glitch free. So we think they could help us find where in the cloud Xbox Live is hiding. Personally I got my money its hiding in that horse shaped cloud, Xbox has always been fond of horses.”

Sony also weighed in on the matter. “Our system might not be very user friendly, and might go down for a while, but at least we know where it is” said Sony Network Entertainment VP Eric Lempel. Sony mentioned that they thought of the cloud too, but had reservations due to the very issue Microsoft is experiencing. “Their problem is why we haven’t added this functionality to the Playstation yet. It’s not because we’re lazy or offer a sub-par service relative to Xbox Live. I mean, that stuff’s true, but we also care about the consumer, so we’ve decided not to innovate our service. We are just trying to protect you.”

Radical Entertainment to Release Crash Bandicoot Generations

After the success of Sonic Generations, Radical Entertainment has announced that it plans to develop Crash Bandicoot Generations. “We’re just going to update Crash a little bit, bring back some old levels from the first few games.

There’ll be some time travelling involved, with two versions of Crash [an artist’s rendering of original Crash can be seen in the screenshot]; you know, like Sonic in Sonic Generations” Kelly Zmak, President of Radical Entertainment explained.

GamesGo has also learned that Crash Bandicoot Generations plans on incorporating driving elements from the wildly popular Crash Team Racing series, as well as new edgier next-generation gameplay reminiscent of Modern Warfare 3 and other popular shooters.

New Playstation Terms of Service Require Users to Forfeit Rights to Organs

After recently updating the Playstation’s terms of service to include a no suing clause, Sony has announced that in order to access the PS3’s latest system update—which is required to use the Playstation Network—users will have to forgo the rights to their organs, which Sony executives can harvest at any time.

We gotta get past this whole console war dialogue in the gaming industry. Shit is getting out of control. I swear the other day Jack Tretton jumped out of the bushes and shot me in the fucking arm!
Sony Reveals Plans To Beat Microsoft (For 2nd Place) In Console War

After the recent announcement that Sony’s PS3 is only 1.3 million units behind Microsoft’s Xbox 360 (56 vs. 57.3 million units sold respectively) for second place in total consoles sold worldwide, Sony released a stunning press release:

MUH HAHA! We’ve finally caught up to those bastards in America. To our loyal fans, know that our Japanese heritage will win out. Our recent efforts to torture ”encourage” all Sony employees to buy a PS3 everyday — and then destroy it so that it never reaches the second-hand market — has finally paid off. We will stomp on Microsoft’s collective faces when we win! 

In response a Microsoft spokesperson just laughed and said “have you seen how stupid people look in their 3D headset? I don’t think we’re losing anything.”

GamesGo: Sony 3D Headset

Warner Bros. Announces Sequel to The Lord of the Rings: War in the North

Warner Bros, in association with developer Snowblind Studios, made public today that the recently released The Lord of the Rings: War in the North already has a sequel in development for a 2012 release, Lord of the Rings: War in the South. “We put a lot of work into War in the North and believe we really took the franchise as far as we could…. in the north,” commented Andre Maguire, War in the North's lead game designer.

"So after we finished the game we thought to ourselves, ‘how do we take this series even further?’ and that’s when it came to us — we go south. It’s completely uncharted territory and in my opinion, is quite a startling and gutsy move on our part." Come back here to GamesGo exclusively for more details on what to expect from this completely new and original game.