Sony Announces PS4 will be Powered by Nuclear Fusion and Unicorn Blood

In it’s first official statement on the next generation of consoles, Sony has revealed that the PS4 will be powered by a nuclear fusion reactor, which Sony executives mentioned is “still in development”.

Sony Computer Entertainment

"While nuclear fusion has eluded humanity for over half a century, we here at Sony are confident in our ability to provide this breakthrough. We find this is not only necessary in terms of solving the energy crisis but also for powering the most advanced graphics ever thought imaginable on a console" said Kazuo Hirai, Chairman of Sony Computer Entertainment.

It was noted by one commentator that once nuclear fusion has been achieved, it would provide nearly unlimited free power to the entire world. Sony was quick to mention though that research and development costs would need to be recovered and that this would likely impact the PS4’s price-point.

"Gamers of Sony products have come to expect a top-notch experience that isn’t boggled down by second-grade technical design. That’s why our gamers have always been willing to pay two or three times more for a nearly identical gaming experience. That’s also why we’ve decided that the cooling system for the PS4 will be powered by none other than Unicorn blood"

Unicorn Trying to Escape Sony Compound

Sony then gave details of it’s top-secret program to genetically engineer Unicorns, which executives say have twice the cooling power of other non-magical entities, such as horses. “We originally intended the PS3 to be cooled by Unicorn blood but the technology just wasn’t there. However, in recent years we’ve made great strides and will be able to enable Unicorn powered cooling systems in the PS4 on a mass-production scale”

Over 1,000,000 Unicorns will be bred and harvested for their blood this year alone.

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